Asking for Help—Eight Empowering Tips

Have you noticed that some people have others helping them, seemingly without needing to ask? If you are like most people, asking for help is not something you naturally do. So, why is it that some people are surrounded by people ready, willing and eager to help them?

The answer lies in the ability to ask for help in an empowered and gracious manner. Many of us believe asking for help is a sign of weakness—feeling vulnerable, or ashamed; our fears of rejection and embarrassment get in the way.

In reality, asking for help does not indicate weakness. Life is about leaning and growing, in the process, we all need help along the way. Beyond each challenge awaits an opportunity for growth. By asking for help when you need it, we discover solutions, gain new insights and ultimately empower ourselves and others.

When you reach out and ask, you will find that help does arrive and your needs are met, often exceeding your grandest hopes.

Consider these tips:

• Ask for help as soon as you realize you need it. Waiting or neglecting problems often escalate and become huge issues that drain energy and resources.

• Remember everyone (including you) deserves a helping hand. It is in supporting one another that we all benefit and grow. How often have you offered to help someone or responded to a request for help? You deserve the same.

• Accept that you have nothing to lose by asking—except your fear of rejection. If the person you approach can help you will learn from the experience. If they turn you down, you can approach another until someone can give you the help you need.

• Ask someone you trust. If they do not have the answer, they likely will know someone who does.

• Be clear about your need. The proven words are, "I need your help with____." Simple and to the point.

• Give the person as much detail as possible. Even if you cannot describe the exact problem, divulge what you know about your circumstances, as well as what you need.

• Get a commitment. Ask the person to give a commitment how they are willing to support you. Getting a commitment will set your mind at ease and alleviate stress. Even if they cannot help you themselves, they may offer valuable suggestions or refer you to someone who can help.

• When you find the solution to your issue or the person puts forth effort acknowledge them in some tangible way. Depending on their tangible effort you could give a dinner for two at a nice restaurant. Or return the favor, if you know they could benefit from something you know or could do for them. A quid pro quo—Lat. 'what for what' or 'something for something.' The concept of getting something of value in return for giving something of value.