Others Are Mirrors For You

As much as we hope to exist in harmony with the people we encounter, there will be some individuals we dislike—they rub us the wrong way or trigger negative feelings. Have you wondered why it seems that the same type person shows up in your life—the person who gives you the most angst, a.k.a. difficult people? This person could be your neighbor, boss, colleague, service provider, someone on a committee you are on, etc.

Metaphysically, we are here to remember and grow spiritually and emotionally. In order for this growth to occur we need to see what needs our attention. Other people are the most effective way for anyone to remember and grow—they hold up the mirror for you to see yourself. They bring to you the issues you need to remember and move beyond. They are bringing the perfect gift for you—their 'difficult' behavior so that you can remember and grow. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

Keeping this in mind, you can, 'Thank' these people for being such a pain, because they are your most accurate mirror of what you need to remember. When someone seems difficult or is getting under your skin—ask yourself:

• What about this person annoys me?
• What beliefs do I need to reevaluate/change?
• Who in my past does this person remind me?
• What does this person do that I don't like about myself?
• What do I need to change to change my experience?
• What are his/her motivations?
• What are my choices?

Although you may not have an immediate breakthrough, your willingness to consider your dislike rationally can help you better understand the root of your feelings. Your aversion to certain people may not wane over time, yet the comprehension you gain through reflection can help you interact with them sympathetically, benevolently, and with a greater degree of kindness. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you choose to keep some people at arms length. You may never achieve a shared harmony with everyone, but you can nonetheless modulate your reactions to them and, ultimately, to coexist peacefully with them.